I had a really valid and interesting response to my last post about tempering anger. There is a difference between putting some one in their place and shaming them. Sometimes people step out of line and it is our responsibility to have strong enough boundaries to protect our loved ones and ourselves.
Super simple example: A couple weeks ago I was working a 9 hour day. During a 30 minute break I sat down in one of the private yoga rooms @pureyogaofficial and drank my coke while I watched #Blackish on my computer. I was chilling and happy. And then a student walked in. She was 10 minutes early for her lesson.
She said: “Marysia?! Are you drinking coke?
I look down at my hand. “Yes.”
Woman: “But that’s not you!”
Me: “You don’t know me.”
Woman: “But you’re into health and Chinese Medicine…”
Me: “Judge not today.”
Drop the mic. End of discussion.
It’s good to have boundaries. For me, it’s good to also stay calm while setting those boundaries.
In my mind I waivered between thinking, “how dare you?” and “shit she’s right this is not a good example of healthy living.” Thankfully in that moment I found the right words to let her know it was none of her business either way (I’m not always so smooth- but that time I #nailedit)!
This is a way of interacting with the world that gives me the greatest feeling of self-respect. I don’t like putting others down ever. It wears on my self-esteem. I also I don’t think shaming someone into doing anything is big picture effective.
Short term you can shame someone into doing things your way, but I think long term it’s better to inspire others to WANT to work for you. I try to build a sincerely supportive community around me that is driven by passion, not fear.
Still this is just this girl’s opinion. Different things work for different people and that’s what makes this world so fascinating. I’m sharing my perspective on my website because it can be useful; but all it is is a perspective, it ain’t the truth, it’s just my truth.