I hate small talk, but I am constantly meeting new people. I’m also meeting people whose backgrounds and lives are very foreign to me. So how do I avoid surface conversation? I take it upon myself to set the tone. I usually do a combination of these two things.
1) I share something that’s on my mind, which is personal but not intimate.
Example: “It’s been hard being away from my husband for 6 weeks.” Although it isn’t exactly positive conversation it’s what’s on my mind and it’s relatable.
2) I ask people questions about what makes them tick.
Example: “I saw you look over there and smile. What are you thinking about?”
I love learning about how different people process information. It’s pretty much my favorite thing in the world. So I take it upon myself to start those kinds of conversations. These types of conversation tend to get pretty deep fast. Because I’ve let go of the idea that there is a “right” or “wrong” way to think or be I believe I am invited into more intimate and interesting conversations. You do you and you are fascinating. I do me and I’m entitled as well. Let’s learn about each other!
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