9 Steps to Cope with Adversity
I used to hate the discomfort of having a serious issue arise and not having an immediate solution. Uncertainty can be scary and frustrating. But what I’ve learned is that if I can exercise the self-control to just wait things out, the pieces fall together in a way that is far better than anything I could have constructed. The major challenge is not panicking while shit is hitting the fan. I’ve been working on this one for a while. It’s what we call being #nonreactive.
When I am angry or scared and I take action or say things that are rooted in fear or resentment I only worsen the problem. I’ve humbly watched myself do it enough times throughout my life to know better… but how to do better?
1) It starts with awareness.
2) Meditation has afforded me the ability to watch myself live my life. I can feel when something gets me negatively charged and now instead of reacting I just remove myself from the situation.
3) Then I usually have to ruminate for a while. I’ll go for a run, write in my journal, sleep or talk to people I trust.
4) Once I have some spiritual distance from the problem and I’ve gained broader perspective I consider the most pragmatic next step.
5) Take action.
7) Calmly asses what happens.
8) Repeat the appropriate steps from above.
The unknown is the hardest and sometimes there is a lot of waiting… So how do I evade anxiety while I wait? I get present. At first being present can require really muscling the mind to stay focused on whatever else I got going on. It feels like I am accessing a similar part of my brain that commands my abs to engage for longer than I can stand to complete my core exercises. I really gotta dig deep, focus and commit. I do it over and over again and it gets easier.
Life has shown me that it has all kinds of crazy things in store for me and as long as I stay engaged and trust life’s flow those crazy things will come together beautifully. I remind myself of this truth over and over. When doubts creep in I dig deep again and recommit to trusting the process.
It has taken me years and I still have more work to do but I gotta say it is totally worth it.
9) Love my life and everyone in!